Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Ten Signs I Suddenly Entered My Second Trimester

  1. Exercising for an hour without thinking, "I am going to die."
  2. Coming home awake at 9 pm, ready to empty the Dishwasher of Doom, clean the counter tops, freeze two batches of Campari-citrus sorbet, and roll and blind-bake four pie crusts.
    • Fun fact: I'm pretty inexperienced with pie crusts, so the probability of frustration was high.
  3. Watching, fascinated, and without screaming, as cheap ice-cream-maker #1 fails to freeze its batch of sorbet and cheap ice-cream-maker #2 freezes but subsequently melts its batch.  
    • Fun facts: at the times of measurement, the sorbet was about a degree cooler in cheap ice-cream-maker #2, and the base of cheap ice-cream-maker #2 was a degree-and-a-half cooler than the base of ice-cream maker #1.  The two motors spun the cooling vessels at the same speed.
  4. Not caring that I won't eat the proto-sorbet once it leaves the freezer.
  5. Calmly realizing that one of my mother-in-law's homegrown summer squash, obtained only two days prior, had rotted and leaked. 
    • Fun fact: during my first trimester, I would have raged at the squash over its non-compliance.
  6. Producing two shrunken pie crusts and one doughy, shrunken pie crust, all with minimal complaint.
  7. Setting off the smoke detector without lamenting the other inconveniences of the previous two hours.
  8. Accepting the reality that uploading a photo of pie-crust #4, an attractive specimen, will have to wait until my cell phone decides to stop roaming.
    • Fun fact: I am at home, where my phone should not roam.
  9. It's 1:53 am, I am still awake, and I think I have two more hours in me.
  10. I look a little bit fat.

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